#14164 - My constant pain was my permanent excuse. Perhaps that was the hardest part, being depressed without having a reason, that mixture of guilt for knowing that you should consider yourself lucky but the inability to do so, and the feeling of helplessness from the knowledge that it meant that nothing could change how you felt, and that if you would wish for death in a comfortable life, then you would wish for death no matter what. I’m starving but I’m just too tired to eat.
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